Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Lost Identity

My computer lost it's identity yesterday. Last night I did something unusual, I completely shut down my computer. Little did I know that this little box that helps me make my living would get lost, not physically, but it forgot who it was. When I went to log on in the morning, I gave my Microsoft three finger salute, typed in my user ID and password... nothing. Huh? Thinking I mis-typed, I repeated the process. Same result. I felt like Rocky in the first movie, looking in his hat to make sure he had remembered the locker combination. I remove my cheat sheet of passwords and sure enough... same results. After 40 minutes with support trying every backdoor combination to allow me entry, it was decided... nothing could be done.

When I asked our tech guy what happened he shared that, "my computer forgot who it was". He said the only thing I could do was to send it back to Dallas, that plugging it back into the main network, rather than VPN, would ground the system and help it remember who it was.

I thought about that, for a moment and have to admit, I too am feeling a bit like my computer every once in a while. I forget who I am, what I am doing and why I am doing it. I expect that all of us have desires of not being just ordinary, but extraordinary. Each night during the Olympics I see the extraordinary, those who's dedication and drive propel them to the elite in their sport. But it exist beyond sport, we see it in business, entertainment, government, those who are truly extraordinary. There are days I can find that drive inside myself, but lately I feel ordinary. There are those that say ordinary is good, I'm not sure that I would agree, at least not for myself.

During my workout I struggle, it was not too hard, 1 mile EZ, 3 miles at 7:03 (I did 6:58, due to the treadmill) and 1 mile EZ, but my mind kept thinking about being extraordinary. Done, I was more frustrated than when I started my run.

I was now in a foul mood. Is this it. Is this me, not what I pictured, who am I really. With my computer losing it's way, it seemed to be a mirror held up to my face. I too have lost my way.

Back home I see the boys and we hang out, playing a few games and running a few errands. my bad mood starts to dispel and I begin to remember, who I am, I begin to understand that though I may not have reached Olympian levels, I am extraordinary to those that matter most to me, my family.

My mood brightens, though I do have lingering thoughts about the unfinished dreams. I have not lost my identity, but I believe there is more I am capable of being.

No comments: